8 years and 6 days

A lot of people don’t know this about me, but I actually suffer from the illness known as “hopeless romantic syndrome.” It’s quite serious, and there is no known cure. Some people think being let down in romance is the best medicine to alleviate this syndrome, but true hopeless romantics still hold on to a constant desire for fulfillment.

“Husbands, love your wives…love your wives as you love yourself…he who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:25–28).

I’ve often reflected on God’s call for women to be submissive and men to love their wives. In recent years, I’ve come to the conclusion that this call is for us to go beyond what is natural for us. I hate to use sweeping generalizations, but women tend to find it easy to lead, and men usually have little trouble in taking care of their own desires. So God asks us, in our marriages, to do the opposite of what is easy for us—women: step back, and let your husband step up; men: put your wives’ quiet desires ahead of yours, and cherish her openly and honestly. That cherishing makes a passionate marriage.

Genesis describes the union of marriage as two people being united into one (2:24), and this union is supposed to continue on in passion throughout growing old together: “May you rejoice in the wife of your youth…may you ever be captivated by her love” (Proverbs 5:18–19). Notice that Proverbs doesn’t say, “May you endure your lives together.” These verses ask for the blessing of a forever passion: captivated in love.

As of today, I've been married 8 years and 6 days. It's not always easy, but I pray for that captivation in our lives. Truly, I hope my hopeless romantic syndrome is hereditary, that it brings a level of romantic and passionate fulfillment (and not frustration) to the marriages of my children.    

May 22, 2004

5 years married, with Jack in womb

Take a look at us now!

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