Secret #7 (the final of this series) is to spend some time apart (Behen 7). In reflection of this secret, I decided to take photographs (and find some previously-taken photos) of the things I like to do without my spouse. Cultivating my own interests and hobbies (some alone, some with other friends) is a must. Sometimes I have that wistful longing: I wish he liked all the same stuff I do, but then I remember Secret #5 to accentuate the positive and Secret #6 to have other friendships. (See the full list of secrets below.)
One of my passions is photography, so compiling this montage (while my husband was working and my children were napping), was a happy task. After you look through, I challenge you to think of something you love to do or someplace you love to go--find a friend who shares that love, or enjoy some time alone treating yourself.
In Kate Chopin's "A Pair of Silk Stockings," a young mother who spends all of her energies devoted to her family and none on her own desires ends up blowing a lot of money one day on a wild self-indulging extravaganza. By the end, as she is riding home, she feels "a poignant wish, a powerful longing that the cable car would never stop anywhere, but go on and on with her forever" (Chopin 156). Don't let the challenges of wifery and motherhood take away who you are, or you might end up losing your mind one afternoon, emptying your savings account, and "powerfully longing" never to return home again.
You can be all things to all people most of the time (Isn't that, after all, what it means to be a woman?), but every once in a while, you need to be just you.
hobbies and interests pictured above: writing, playing Mah Jong, having tea, songwriting and singing, reading Hemingway (current research project), practicing photography, sewing onesies for friends, planning and thinking of possibilities, painting pottery, eating good food, going to work, shopping (though the fantastic design of Anastasia Morozova is currently out of my price range--one day!).
Secret # 1 Have Realistic Expectations
Secret #2 Sweat the Small Stuff
Secret #3 Consider Yourselves a Team
Secret #4 Remember the Little Things
Secret #5 Accentuate the Positive
Secret #6 Have Other Friendships
Secret #7 Spend Time Apart
Chopin, Kate. "A Pair of
Silk Stockings." Great American Short Stories. Ed. Paul Negri.
Mineola, NY: Dover Publications, 2002. 152-56. Print.
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