Jonas, my nine-month-old, can be bubbly and joyful…until you walk out of the room. Jay, Jonas, and I went on a short trip to Minneapolis and left Jack (who doesn’t fly free any more) with my mom. When we came home, I was surprised to see how happy Jonas was to be with Jack again. His face light up when he saw his brother, and the moodiness he gave us the whole trip was gone. Jonas missed Jack. Adorable.
If your language is Quality Time, “nothing says, ‘I love you’ like full, undivided attention” (“The 5 Love Languages”). If Jonas continues to show signs that he is Quality Time, I’ll have to make sure my busy do-twelve-things-at-once nature allows for some focus-only-on-Jonas time allotment. He isn’t happy resting his head against me while I write like Jack (Physical Touch boy) is—he wants to join in with the typing.
As I have looked at this love language, I’ve concluded that it is divided into at least two subcategories: quality conversation and quality activities. I tend to fall into the first; my husband and one of my best friends fall into the latter. I’d love to sit around with a cup of tea and chat. Jay and my dear friend Megan want to go places and do things. I’ve also discovered I enjoy activities that are conversation-friendly: light hiking, shopping, going out to eat, playing Mah Jongg….
If your love language isn’t Quality Time, or if it is but your interests differ from your spouse’s, then you will need to re-wire your definition of “waste of time.” My dad, a “nearness” and quality conversation type, wants to sit on the couch with my mom and watch a favorite British show. She is Acts of Service, and it is hard for her to sit when that To Do List seems unending. And though I am Quality Time, since my husband likes sports (watching and playing) and I don’t, I have to stretch myself beyond feeling like baseball is a waste of time when I have a book I want to read or ideas to reflect upon.
With Megan, and other Quality Time friends who like that time to be in action, I’m trying to find activities that stretch my physical comfort zone while still lending themselves to decent conversation.
each post in this series
Chapman, Gary. The 5 Love Languages. Chicago: Northfield, 1995. Print.
“The 5 Love Langugages.” The 5 Love Languages. Moody Publishers. n.d. Web. 11 May 2012.
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