Sometimes I think back on the days of early romance and sigh. Wouldn’t it be great to capture that newness again? Sure, young love has its fun: when my accidental hand brushing up against his hand sent my spine into shivers. But there is something comforting in an old relationship, just like your favorite old jeans. They might not be as exciting or accentuate your curves quite as well as a brand new pair, but it doesn’t matter if you spill spaghetti sauce on them, and they fit even after you eat too much ice cream.
Speaking of spaghetti, you can eat it on a date with the one you’ve loved for ten years. You can order whatever you want to on the menu, in fact, without worrying that it will be too messy to eat or make you seem weight conscious. There’s no mixed message in you ordering the meatloaf or silent signals in your getting a salad.
One of my favorite bands, Fleming and John, have a song about this very topic called “Comfortable:”
I gotta to tell you how I’m feeling—I hope you don’t take it wrong: You know that I love you, and I’m not giving up. I gotta tell you how I’m feeling, in case you haven’t noticed. The mystery is gone; infatuation’s wearing off. I gotta tell you how I’m feeling—I think that you’ll agree: we’ve become predictable, but I really don’t mind being this comfortable.
This band has several songs on real love: the dreams and hopes, the longevity, the faith, the acknowledgment of what could go wrong. The best part? Fleming and John are husband and wife.
Every stable relationship has its positives and negatives. Sometimes we are pulled towards the negatives. I’m trying my best to spend more time in happiness and in the positive side of life, of seeing the benefits of being comfortable and the joys of when something out of the ordinary (flowers, a present for no reason, and extra hug, a surprise compliment) is given. If you are in a new relationship, relish it. And if you’ve been together for a while, relish it.
my paternal grandparents 60 years ago and today
Fleming and John. “Comfortable.” The Way We Are. Universal Records, 1999. CD.
You can hear the song here.
this post is linked up with